Recently whilst writing my online course on Creating Family Harmony I was searching for some good information on values, what they are, why they are important and how to work with them in a team or family. What I found was information that was often at the same time, overly simplistic and over complicated.
I have worked with many leaders, teams and families around values for a long time now and from this work it is clear that values, as a list to aspire to, can be easy to create and mandate adherence to (the simplistic part) but difficult to live. At the same time leaders and teams can over complicate the process of creating and implementing values. This could be because of a lack of clarity about the ‘what’ and the ‘why’ as well as the ‘how’. A feeling of “Why on earth we are creating them anyway. How will they help us?”
So lets have a look at the “What’ “Why” and “How”.
What are Personal Values?
In a nutshell, values are the things that are important to us. They underpin our moral compass and keep us on the straight and narrow. They are linked to our personal standards. When one of our values has not been met, or we feel it has been violated, we can feel very uncomfortable, upset or annoyed.
Personal values can vary between people and can include things like honesty, respect, family, learning, kindness, integrity, creativity, love, certainty, competence, fitness, health and humour. I could list hundreds more. Our values are very personal.
What Are Workplace and Corporate Values?
Values in the workplace are usually generated through a process of consultation and represent what is important to an organisation or team. They are the way the organisation or team want to be and want to be seen to be. Families being teams also have shared values.
Why Is It Important That We Are Clear About Our Values
Personally, in families and at work, values, have meanings for each of us and we each have rules around them. By understanding both our personal values and our workplace or family values and our individual and collective rules around them we can increase harmony and productivity.
A rule around a value is how we expect that value to be met according to our own standards. For example, imagine I have personal value of collaboration and for me collaboration means sitting face to face with people discussing how things will be and deciding via consensus who will do what. That is my rule around collaboration.
This becomes important if collaboration is also a personal value for you, or an organisational value that we have both signed up for and your rule around collaboration is different to mine. For example, if your rule around collaboration, is gathering opinions via email, collating them and letting people know who should do what, you can imagine we may experience some tension when we work together.
Tension or conflict around values occurs because:
How Can we Create Shared Understandings
Creating a shared understating around values in our families and in our workplaces is an antidote to assumptions, tension and conflict. The key to shared understanding is developing a culture of continuing conversation around what is important to each of us and all of us in organisations, teams and families.
To do this we need to:
I am interested to hear about your experiences with values either personal, workplace or family.
To find out more about my 6 hour online values based course for Mums on Creating Family Harmony.
Strengths Finder Assessment and Feedback
Doing Strengths Finder coaching has enabled me to see how I can make the most of my natural abilities. The test itself outlined 5 particular strengths but it was the coaching that meant I now know how to actually utilise this information. It is going to help me a great deal when it comes to my academic life and in particular how I can study in the most effective way. The coaching helps access the key to knowing your strengths and Deb has helped me devise a plan of how I can move forward with these skills. Her work with me has been vital to the Strengths Finder process and I would absolutely recommend the coaching as vital to finding your strengths.
Lotte, Sydney
Family Harmony Workshop for Parents
The course gave a great framework to build a more harmonious family - I find it difficult to explain to my teens why I don't like their behaviour but with this toolkit I am able to articulate this easily and less emotionally, resulting in better communication and a less charged atmosphere. Thanks Deb for the lifeline
Sue, Sydney
Team Building Facilitation and Coaching
As a new Manager to a newly formed team of eight staff, I engaged Deb to facilitate our first team planning day. The objective of the day was to identify a shared vision and to start a process of strategic planning for the next three years. The day was a great success and set the team up with greater clarity of purpose and a framework for future planning.
Deb demonstrated a great understanding of the team, its context and challenges. This was due to her careful and thorough planning and reflections prior to the day. Deb managed the varying levels of engagement among the team exceptionally well; she did this with the establishment of clear ground rules and a sense of trust and respect. Deb listened actively and regularly questioned for greater clarity before reflecting on the team’s contributions.
We ended the day with a clear vision that was shared and in which all members felt they had an investment. Deb followed up regularly after the session to check in on progress and to provide advice about next steps. We were extremely lucky to have been able to work with Deb at this important stage of the team’s development and I would not hesitate for a moment in engaging Deb again.
Angela Hehir, (Manager)
Business Leadership Coaching
Debra's help in getting me to focus on the strategic direction of my business and my work-life priorities has proven invaluable. She has the ability to ask simple questions to create greater clarity and focus in both work and personal goals. Debra is a great listener, follows up on her clients and creates a great support base for her clients through recommending network groups, courses and reading material. For those who want a leadership coach that goes that extra mile,
I highly recommend her.Yvette Audet, Sport & Recreation Management Services
360 degree feedback and Mentoring
Debra provided feedback on my 360 leader/manger profile. I have taken this style of development tool on two prior occasions and found the feedback underwhelming. This time I found that Debra has an empathetic and approachable feedback style. Previously I have felt very much that I was being placed in a stereotypical box.
I liked Debra,s approach and understood more that the outcomes of the survey reflect a favored management leadership style and this could be flexible. Debra is able to draw out your thoughts on how you feel others perceive you rather than preaching which was a great attribute.
We talked about the outcomes and the way forward and I was left with a comfortable feeling that I could achieve my higher aims. Debra provided positive feedback and kept in contact after the initial interview. Her trouble in organizing some key topic papers and net links was commendable. I hope very much to take Debra up on some future mentoring and would highly recommend Debra’s leadership skill set to you.
Professor Tim Lyons, Newcastle
Concrete personal career goals
I have appreciated my coaching sessions this year more than I can say. Deb has challenged me at every turn which I have loved, making me work hard to find my own solutions during an extremely professionally challenging year. This has been extremely satisfying.
I also now have concrete personal career goals and a plan on how to get there – non existent when I started coaching and really not something I consciously thought I needed. As a consequence I feel more focused and motivated for the next year and beyond.
Finally I would have to say my coaching session with Deb have been an absolute lifeline for me this year, keeping me on track, helping me to grow and learn and ultimately make a monumental shift in my approach and style as a leader. I am very grateful for her time, patience, humor and professionalism – I am certainly am better leader thanks to coaching with Deb.
Bernadette Hollis, Sydney
